Many Ways To Kill A Sasuke…
by 0x-i-Need-A-Hug-x0
Summary: NOT FOR SASUKE LOVERS! the point of this is just random sasuke bashing storys! our goal is 100!
1. Intro

Many Ways To Kill A Sasuke…

Well as from the title you know this is NOT for Sasuke lovers… you have been warned, this WHOLE story/shots will be Sasuke bashes !! YAY. If you have an idea or even want to write a Sasuke bash yourself e-mail it to me and I'll add it. Well PM me and I'll give you my email and such or just PM me the story I'm small sections. Thanks!! I'll make sure you say its your and give you your credit… our goal will be at least 100 Sasuke bashings!! Enjoy!!


	2. 1

Okay this idea was from OnpusFavFan12. Enjoy the Sasuke abuse XD!!!! Don't forget to submit your ideas and or stories at the end!!  
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**This is soooo much fun to write! Send your Ideas/Stories at the End!!**

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"NOOO!! I'm not a Rooster!" Some boy with chicken butt hair yelled running away from the head over heals in love hens chasing him.

-bok.bok.bok. bagokkk- aka –chicken noises-

Millions, no billions, okay will A LOT of horny hens began chasing after this poor soul we know as Sasuke. Okay so no one really feels sorry for him BUT that's okay, because the story goes on.

"Leave me alone!!!" Sasuke cried with anime tears running down his face as he remembered how he got into this mess.

-_**Flashback-**_

"_**Hey Sasuke you still want to have our one on one fight no interruptions?" Naruto whispered.**_

"_**When and where, dope." Sasuke looked over at the hyper active blonde.**_

_**After scribbling down an address and time Naruto folded it and handed it to Sasuke.**_

"_**Later tonight, see you there in the building." Naruto replied with his mischievous grin.**_

_**-End Flashback-**_

"Damn you Naruto!" Sasuke yelled as loud as possible.

**-At the ramen stand in The Village Hidden in the Leaves-**

"Achoooo!"

"Gesutintent Naruto" Hinata smiled handing him a tissue.

"Someone must be talking about me…" Naruto smiled.

**------------------Back with the crazy chickens and Sasuke----------------------**

"bok.bok… Bagok!!!"

The just before the hens jumped him, Sasuke cleverly ran across the road. And everyone knows chickens don't cross roads… oh wait wasn't that a joke about why they did? Well I guess we know the answer, to get to the Sasuke!

"Stupid chickens, go away. Shoo, shoo. Go on get!" Sasuke tried scaring them off.

"I'm not afraid of YOU! I'm a NINJA! An Uchiha no less!!!" Sasuke yelled out proudly. Too bad he was so focused on the chickens he didn't notice the stamped coming his way. The chickens did though, as they scampered away Sasuke smirked thinking he was all high and mighty. Suddenly the ground shook and he looked to his left.

"No, it can't be," Sasuke began trembling, "my only fear, COWS!"

As if on cue the stamped of cows began mooing and running faster towards him. Sasuke, being frozen with fear, did nothing. (Because I don't like him so there! No Sasuke will be saved in this chapter.) Needless to say the cows murdered him. Just kidding!! What really happened was the cows al trampled him and just as he regained conciseness a few dancing goats began to practice their routine chorography right over poor defenseless Sasuke. It was Irish tap dancing! Tap shoes with heels and all. After dancing hardcore they got hungry and choose to eat Sasuke's shorts so now he was clad only in his shirt and fluorescent pink boxers.

"Why me?" Sasuke whined aloud after the goats left. Slowly pushing off the ground into a sitting position he sighed. "What next? A pack of ferocious lions going to maul me?"

Just as he jinxed himself by complaining about the story lions randomly appeared in the exact field Sasuke was in!

"Damn it! Just my luck! Why don't you just cover me in gravy and tie my hands and feet together and to top it all off stick an apple in my mouth and set me on a silver platter for them!" Sasuke cursed the heavens, or more like the author of this story. And as we all know you don't ever get angry with the ones that control you future.

Well as he wished Sasuke was granted with his hands and feet tied together, covered in gravy with a shinny red apple in his mouth. All upon a silver platter.

"mumble,ljdfmvahuigaagjalh mmmmmgkjhknsahikg." Sakura tried to say but couldn't due to the apple. To translate he said, "Damn you all! I'm a sexy Uchiha!! LOVE ME!! Ahhh nooooooo help the lions are coming closer!! Where are my fan girls when I need them? Come on don't leave me!"

As if he called their names his loyal fan girls came to his rescue.

"Sasuke-Kuuuuuuuuuuun! We love you!" they yelled as they took millions of pictures of him in his current situation. The Flashes from the camera's scared off the lions but attracted MORE fan girls!

"OMG! Like how did we not realize that our Sasuke is tied up?" Karin, the leader of The Ultimate Sasuke Club (T.U.S.C.) yelled.

Suki, a new addition to the T.U.S.C., meekly asked "Should we untie him then?"

"WHAT?!?!" Kin yelled, second in command, "Of course not! Do you know how LONG we've waited for a chance like this? It's Sasuke-kun tired up! LET'S RAPE HIM!" all the fan girls cheered.

During this Sasuke stared wide eyed quivering and thinking, 'oh ya THEY ARE UCHIHA FAN GIRLS!!'

"Oh Sasuke-kun! SASUKE-KUN I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH! YOUR SO SHMEXY!" was the kind of things his fan girls were calling at him.

Just then he spit out the apple and looked towards the sky once more and yelled, "Kami-sama SAVE ME!"

And as the angles sang out in a maculate chorus down from the heavens descended CHUCK NORIS! No sorry that was lyrics to a song… wrong document.

Anyway, down from the sky jumps Hidan!

"Sasuke you dumbass! IT IS JASHIN-SAMA U KAMI-SAMA LUVER!!" he yelled racing towards Sasuke with a sword in hand, smiling. Just before he could start his prayer to Jashin and asking for nothing short of a kill or, if he fails to kill his opponent, for forgiveness the girls screamed out.

"Who is THAT hunk?" the Fanclub squealed throwing off their Sasuke mechandice and releaving their "We Love Hidan!" mechandice.

"MARRY ME! I LOVE YOU! OH LETS GET HIM! HE'S MINE! NO MINE! WE LOVE YOU HIDAN-KUUN!" the newly formed Hidan fanclub screamed casing him away while he yelled curses at them.

"FINALLY I'm FREE!" Sasuke yelled.

"SASUKE-KUN!! WE ARE ALL BY OUR SELVES!" Karin yelled still in her 'I Love Sasuke!' stuff.

"No, no NOOOOO!" Sasuke yelled as Karin dragged him off to Kami- err sorry, as Hidan would say- Jashin knows where.

----------Back in the village hidden in the leaves-------------------

The village exploded with laughter (heck even Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro in Suna could hear them!)

"Is THAT the almighty Sasuke Uchiha in PINK boxers?" Ino snorted.

"OMG! Hahahhaa." Sakura feel to the floor laughing.

"See I told you it would work now pay up." Naruto said holding out his hand.

"Whatever, why couldn't I think of this revenge?" Itachi sighed handing over 100 dollars to Naruto who used it all the buy Ramen, of course.

END 1st story!!

Well then…

1 down 99 to go :D send your ideas or PM me and e-mail or Pm your stories of Sasuke bashing! Have fun!! Don't forget to review!


	3. 2

Hello

**Hello! I'm glad to see you back for another round of Sasuke Bashing!! XD I hope everyone is ready for this! Before we begin though I'd like to say we except your fangirlish flames, actually I hope I get one because it will be used to roast Sasuke like a marshmallow. And if you wish to roast him too simply write the word FLAME at the end of your review or AS you review. I'm not picky.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, at all. And even if I did I don't think I'd kill of Sasuke, because then who would we get to make fun of?**

**This story is by **_**lostsockzindryer34**_**  
(I didn't add to your story because I thought it was ahmayzing as it is, if you would like anything changed PM me okay? Oh and feel free to send more than one story!!)**

_**ONTO THE BASHINGS!!**_

One day, Sasuke Uchiha was sulking in the corner when Itachi magically  
appeared (as Itachis do) in front of him. "I kill you!" Sasuke screamed, not  
caring for grammar, as he jumped up, clutching a random knife. Itachi didn't  
move, didn't blink. Then he fell backwards, revealing the real Itachi hiding  
behind the decoy Itachi. "Little brother, I have finally found a way to defeat  
you," Itachi said. Sasuke blinked. Wait, wasn't he supposed to say that?  
Anyway, Itachi made a lot of complicated hand signs. "Shut the Hell Up no  
Jutsu!" he growled. "What the he" before Sasuke could finish, Itachi slammed a  
bucket over his head. "Whoa! Who turned out the lights!" Sasuke yelled. Itachi  
then disappeared in a cloud of swirling red smoke (HOUDINI!). "Get back here  
Itachi! So I kill you!" Sasuke's voice was metallic sounding. Then Naruto  
entered, carrying a box of instant ramen, eight forks, and a stuffed kangaroo  
named Boxers. "Whoa, bucket head! Where's Sasuketeme?" Naruto asked. Sasuke  
growled. "I am Sasukete I mean Sasuke!" the chickenhaired boy we all know and  
coughhatecough stated. Utter silence. A cow could be heard in the background.  
Suddenly, Naruto burst out laughing. Sasuke scowled. Then Naruto recieved the  
most devious of devious ideas. Pulling out a random magic marker, Naruto  
scribbled on Sasuke's bucket. The end result was a funny looking face and "I R  
Stoopid" in block letters. God knows if it was planned or Naruto's own  
stoopidity. Der... "Hey, what'd you just do!" Sasuke cried out, trying to get  
the bucket off his head. Naruto was convulsing on the floor, Boxers squished  
between his left buttcheek and the tiles. "Get this off my head!" Sasuke  
lunged forward, only to trip over Naruto. This made Naruto laugh even harder  
and soon the blonde blacked out. Totally unaware, Sasuke stumbled and  
struggled to get out the door. And so, Sasuke Uchiha began his blundering  
journey through Konoha, looking for God knows what. He tripped over rocks,  
knocked over small children, wandered into ladies bathrooms (Karin was there  
so that just made it 10x worse), and slammed into walls. All in all, it was  
pretty funny to see.


	4. Sorry for the wait:

_OKay i am SOOOOO sorry i havent been on in forever i knowww :( _

_but i really really couldnt my life has been up down crazy with moving and back and forth and crazyy stalker ex's and that fun stuff so now that my life is back to normal (well my normal because otherwise it wouldnt be fun:) i will be updating my stories :)) very soon :)_

pleasee don't give up I wont make you wait long again :]]


	5. 3

Miss me? I know I missed all of you!  
So Sorry for the wait. 3 But Huggles-Chan is back and writer-block free!  
I swear I'll try and make it up to you. ! 3

Hey another way to kill sasuke here thanks to Sahara_of_the_desert

Sahara of the desert

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR THE CHICKEN FROM FAMILY GUY! (and Sahara of the desert owns this story!)

Sas-gay was supposed to meet Naruto to spar today. Sakura couldn't make it because she was busy.

Busy. To busy to train to protect her own village. Pfft. And where the heck is Naruto? Maybe Kakashi's rubbing off on him.

While Sasuke pondered this something happened... Rabid squirrels to be precise.

"OH HOLY HELL GET THE FUCK OFF ME! I'M SASUKE UCHIHA! YOU HEAR ME!" He shouted but was blinded by squirrels jumping on his head and tripped over a cardboard box to bump into Gaara... Big mistake... "GET HIM MY MINIONS!"  
A voice said that sounded more like the Shukaku's than Gaara's. Then not only squirrels but millions of tiny raccoons jumped on him too.

Trying to regain footing he kicked a flower pot that hit the butt of the chicken from family guy and then hit him in the head and knocked him into a coma to eventually be cut off. I have one comment to say to this death. Ouch you got killed by your own hair style!

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I know it's short and sweet. I loved it. Thanks for the chapter!  
Like I said before I didn't add to this story, It was already pretty great.

LOVE AND HUGS FOR EVERYONE!  
Don't forget if you want your Sasuke Bashing story told PM me your story and I'll add it up here right away. Or we can do a collaboration on one : D

Don't forget to review!


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